It’s a pretty significant moment in your life when you say goodbye to the safe, regular income of the job you do in order to pursue the work that you love. Especially when what you love isn’t a conventional regular thing you’d see advertised in Situations Vacant (‘Wanted: Experienced Metaphysician to change the world’). But all my life I’ve operated under the belief that you should do what you love, because it will bring you all the abundance that you need; I’ve never been a person who can stay doing something they don’t love for very long. And that was what I had in mind when, in 2014, I moved out of full-time I.T work to focus on my new passion as a Life Coach.
Life Coaching as an industry is a tricky beast, and it took me a long time to build the belief structures and sense of value that you need in order to generate success. I found that many people were resistant to Life Coaching because they didn’t see the value in it. Or they saw the value, but couldn’t justify the spend. In any case, not a lot of money was coming in, so Coaching had to shift back to become an after-hours thing for me and I took a consulting gig full-time. Working two jobs effectively.
This consulting gig was crazy good money and I absorbed myself in the work, even though the organisation was highly dysfunctional and quite unpleasant to work for. Vibrationally speaking, I was deeply enmeshed in the organisation and its culture, an integral and valued member of a team, a ‘go-to’ person for just about everything. I fitted right in.
Or so I thought. Come January 1, 2017, Practical Metaphysics was born. This was the most exciting thing to happen to me, ever! A thousand people a week were joining the group, and I was having an incredibly awesome time interacting with everyone and creating content and having discussions. As many of you know, being in the group is like coming home, and it certainly felt that way to me. I was on there every minute of the day, building the community, crafting the vision, seeing the awesome potential of a community like this. Vibrationally, I could feel a very real shift away from the everyday corporate world and towards the world of Practical Metaphysics.
It turns out that my co-workers saw this shift too. New people were joining the organisation, very few of us original people were left, things were changing but I was not following the flow. People assumed I was having a tough time outside of work (which I actually was, but that’s another story), and so finally I had a conversation with the new beady-eyed little manager-of-the-day and we agreed that I wouldn’t renew my contract when it came up on June 30.
So I had some time to get used to the idea, some time to figure out how Practical Metaphysics was going to be my new employer, some time to put my plans into action. And then – BANG. The new beady-eyed little manager-of-the-day has found a new guy, starting immediately and asked me to finish up on June 2nd.
Hearing this news sent me into a bit of a tail-spin. All of a sudden I was being shown the door. Shit had become real. The rug had been pulled out and all I could think of was “Oh no, what have I DONE???” I had two weeks until unemployment kicked in. I absolutely could not entertain the thought of going and getting more contract work. I had a clear and present passion to follow, but no income. What on earth am I going to do now? As the weekend came, I allowed fear, uncertainty and doubt to creep in. I allowed what happened to change my state from my usual positive self to this fearful, worried version of me that I don’t particularly like. And, while that state has lifted a little bit (mostly due to wonderful people in the group reaching out to me), it’s where I’m at right now.
Yep, I’m anxious, I have trepidation, I’m a bit down and worried. This is not the right state from which to create the new reality I want. But it’s where I’m at right now, and I need to work on it. Tonight I may start with a ‘future self’ meditation or just jump into the group and reconnect with everyone. I’m not going to let this get on top of me and I’m not going to buy into my negative beliefs.